The Solution for Being Right
In my previous blog entitled: Perfectionism and The Need to Be Right, I discussed how there is an unconscious and unhealthy need to be right in the world. This is causing much controversy and keeping existing problems flourishing without the hope of solution. As long as we are each trying to prove how right our side is, we will never meet underneath where our commonality connects and solutions are born.
Now to expand on the solution.
Underneath all the arguing we all want the same things. We want to feel safe, be loved, have the freedom to live in the way we feel is right with an opportunity to chase our dreams. This is where we must meet, on common ground, then we can walk towards a solution with the same goal in mind. We have it backwards. We’re waiting to agree on the surface ways to get down to the core. We have to meet at the core and work our way back up.
This is not as hard as it seems, it’s been done. Nelson Mandela is an amazing example. During the years he fought against the apartheid government very little progress was made. Progress was made when he stopped trying to be right and bonded over the commonality of what was wanted – peace. Once he met the apartheid government where they were, on common ground, they were able to have open conversations about achieving peace, eventually doing just that.
You see as long as we think that everyone has to see things the way we see them in order to have peace, we will never have it. That is literally impossible. There are approximately 8 billion people on the planet and we are all individuals, we will never all agree on anything. However, when we stop trying to be right, connect to each other with open hearts and open minds – we find that we are more alike than we are different. We see that we all want the same things and if each side gives a little and we walk hand in hand towards the future that we all want; we can actually have it!
We must connect at our common core and make room for different perspectives. I remember watching Michael Bernard Beckwith’s movie Spiritual Liberation. At one point they spoke of the Rand Institute’s study showing that there was no military solution to terrorism. It said that terrorism dissolved in a certain area when the fundamental needs were being met in that area and the people were brought into the political system. This is what I’m talking about. We spend so much time focusing on the bad in people that we never give an opportunity for good to arise. I understand there are bad people out there and I’m not saying the government along with everyone in the world should lay down their weapons tomorrow and everything will be fine. What I am saying is we need to begin a different conversation, attempt different techniques. We have historical data on how peace blossoms and yet we are not using that data. We are so hard-headed and focused on what we think is “right” there’s no room for trying something else.
We’ve done things the same way for thousands of years save a few exceptions. The same way has not worked, the exceptions have. Let’s start learning from our own successes instead of focusing on our failures and do what has been shown to work. We can turn this world around. There are many people opening up to new ways of looking at things in their personal lives because they’re sick of the old way. This is a good thing! Start in your own life. Stop trying to be right and begin trying to connect and understand others. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Eventually when enough people look at
things this way, the governments will begin to reflect the will of the people. Right now, we argue in our own lives and point at the government like it’s the problem. The government is a perfect reflection of how people interact in their own lives. Stop trying to be right in your own life. Start connecting with your fellow human beings through the commonalities we share and eventually the government will reflect its people in a healthier way. Be the change you wish to see; it starts with you and me.
